Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Traveling Salesman

Strongbow was looking through the goods that where being offered at the local auction house and saw a bow that just screamed out his name.  He had to have it or so he thought.  The good news it that it seemed to have been in the auction house for a long time so maybe it would still be around long enough for him to earn the gold to buy it.  The bad news was it cost 600 gold and our beloved hero never seemed to be able to hold on to gold for any extended time.  This meant, while he had lots of money in terms of how much food he could afford, he did not have anywhere near the amount he would need for the bow.

He walked out of the auction house slowly with his head hunched down in sadness and Fang followed suit looking like a sad cat.  A big, sad, cute cat.  They started walking around Dalaran not really paying attention to where they were going when they got confronted by two guards.

"You are not welcome here Tauren."
"Oh, excuse me, I did not realize where I was going.  I'll leave."
"That's right you will leave." The guard said as he pushed him back out to the entrance.

After being told he could not enter an area that was wide open it occurred to him that it seems every place all over the world actually seems very welcoming, even the ones that do not take kindly to guests.  Why does everyone have these wide open doorways if they do not want guests.  It confused him but it also gave him an idea.

Sometime later...

"So do you think you can do it Gnome?"
"It is only a plank of wood.  I am an engineer, why don't you do it yourself?"
"Because I need it to open and close.  Not everyone is big like me where they can just pick it up and move it."
"I still don't understand where you are going with this Tauren but I'll do the job for you."

Strongbow had come up with the perfect idea to make money.  He will sell doors.  There are no doors anywhere really and that would keep unwanted guests out easily.  Hundreds if not thousands of open doorways where all over the world and each one of them needs a door.  He could make a lot of money here.  An open door is an invitation him mother always told him.  What his mother never mentioned was that sometimes it was an invitation to die from people that did not like you.

A week later...

"So as you can see this door will fit nicely into the entrance so you never need to worry about people just walking in any more." He said with his pitch.
"HELP!"
"I am not trying to hurt you, I am trying to sell you a door."
"HELP, a Tauren is trying to kill me, please help."
"I am not trying to kill you, I am trying to sell you a door."
"Please go away, I do not want your door, I just do not want you here."
"If you had a door I would have not been able to just walk in like this.  See what I mean?  A door can keep unwanted guests out."
"You mean unwanted guests like you?"
"Yes.  So will you buy one."
"Guards!"
"No, no, we do not need guards, for only 50 gold you can have yourself a door and never have to deal with traveling Taurens like me again."
"50 gold?, if I give you 50 gold will you just leave me be and not kill me?"
"I am not going to kill you anyway, but yes, I will leave if you buy one."

The human hands over 50 gold while shivering in fear still and Strongbow leans the door on the side of the house.  He was wondering why no guards came.  That human was really screaming a lot.  Someone had to have heard.  Maybe this would not be as hard as he thought it would be.  Maybe ear plugs might help some however.  Why does everyone have to scream?

Two weeks later...

With a satchel full of gold and all the doors he had made gone Strongbow headed to the auction house to get the bow he was looking for.  The bow was gone so sadly there was nothing to spend all his hard earned gold on now.  It looked like there would be a big meal in the near future for Fang and himself as that is normally where all his gold went.  Maybe he should go back to the Gnome and invest some more in doors so he can go around selling them to make even more money. 

He had actually gotten used to all the screaming and occasional stabbing from a pitchfork or some other farming utensil.  He would be a traveling salesman.  This was something he could really get into.  It would give him an excuse to see more of the world.  He started to get lost in thought standing in the auction house when he heard something.

"Pssst, hey you, big guy."
"Me?"  Strongbow said pointing to himself as Fang growled.
"Yeah, you.  Are you the one making the surf boards?"
"Surf boards?  No."
"You mean you did not make these?" The Goblin said pointing to a few doors.
"Yes, I made those doors, where did you get them?"
"Doors?  They are surf boards.  I got them from a few people that said some big Tauren with an orange cat sold them to them against their will."
"???"
"Well I want more, can you make me more?  These things are selling like hotcakes."
"I... guess I can make you more."
"Just make them without these latch things on them and these knob things on them."
"Okay. I can do that, but then they will not open and close easy"
"Why would a surf board need to open and close Tauren?"

Strongbow was genuinely confused.  They were doors, they were a fantastic idea.  Everyone in Azeroth had their doorways open, this would keep unwanted visitors out.  Why did everyone he sell them to get rid of them?  He decided that it would be better to roll with the punches then question it and make some surf boards for the goblin.

Even if everyone else hated them Strongbow made sure to put one on his abode.  Now he and Fang could eat in peace.  No worries about unwanted visitors.  Maybe the idea of a door is just too soon for Azeroth, but some day it would be huge.  He just knew it.  It made no sense for everything to be so, open.  So ends the short tenure of Strongbow, Traveling Salesman.

1 comment:

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